nobody
01-06-2003, 08:37 AM
Top Six Google Myths
1. Google does not allow advertising on the index page.
Lies! Google employs a team of psychologists to create hidden images in the Google logo. Also, where the page appears clean and innocent, hidden text appeals to your subconscious to "BUY PEPSI". This is done using KL7 technology developed by the Dept. Of Defense.
2. Google ranks pages using an automated algorithm.
This is the furthest thing from the truth. Whenever a new page is discovered, Betsy Page (mother of founder Larry Page) nibbles on an oatmeal cookie. If 3 crumbs drop to her blouse, that page is given PR3.
3. Spam Reports are read on a daily basis.
This lie was easily discovered when I right-clicked, and clicked on "View Source" (it's a specially feature the guys at Microsoft installed on my pc and forgot to remove when they sold it to me). Notice the email address the form is sent to:
<input type=hidden name=MAILTO value=nobody@nobody.com>
4. Google gives no special weight for Dmoz listings.
We all know this is false. Why deny it? Why give so much authority to Dmoz? It's a long story, of passionate love in the moonlight:
Larry Page (Google Founder) and Robert Keating (ODP Chief Editor) and Sergey Brin (Google Founder) formed a cozy love triangle during their college years. The three spent many nights in bean bag chairs, sipping champagne in the light of 7 lava lamps. This continued for a while, but after Robert took up smoking Newport brand menthol cigarettes, the relationship turned sour and a nasty break up ensued. Fearing for his safety, Sergey was forced to get a restraining order against Robert.
As time went on, the old flame was just a memory, but while Larry and Sergey went on to create the finest search engine known to man, Robert Keating was stuck at Dmoz with hordes of illiterate and corrupt editors. He threatened to go public with photos he took in moments of passion if Sergey and Larry refused use Dmoz for the Google directory. Sergey caved in, and now Dmoz ruins the lives of countless website owners every day.
5. Google has no portal ambitions.
Google doesn't, but after the first quarter their stockholders will be playing Google Reversi and reading sending email from whoever@google.com, the best free email on the Internet.
6. Google toolbar is harmless
The Google toolbar is used to monitor all your online activity, and can hear what's going on in the room as well. So far the Google toolbar has led to the arrest of 2,478 pedophiles, 3 of whom are not Catholic priests.
1. Google does not allow advertising on the index page.
Lies! Google employs a team of psychologists to create hidden images in the Google logo. Also, where the page appears clean and innocent, hidden text appeals to your subconscious to "BUY PEPSI". This is done using KL7 technology developed by the Dept. Of Defense.
2. Google ranks pages using an automated algorithm.
This is the furthest thing from the truth. Whenever a new page is discovered, Betsy Page (mother of founder Larry Page) nibbles on an oatmeal cookie. If 3 crumbs drop to her blouse, that page is given PR3.
3. Spam Reports are read on a daily basis.
This lie was easily discovered when I right-clicked, and clicked on "View Source" (it's a specially feature the guys at Microsoft installed on my pc and forgot to remove when they sold it to me). Notice the email address the form is sent to:
<input type=hidden name=MAILTO value=nobody@nobody.com>
4. Google gives no special weight for Dmoz listings.
We all know this is false. Why deny it? Why give so much authority to Dmoz? It's a long story, of passionate love in the moonlight:
Larry Page (Google Founder) and Robert Keating (ODP Chief Editor) and Sergey Brin (Google Founder) formed a cozy love triangle during their college years. The three spent many nights in bean bag chairs, sipping champagne in the light of 7 lava lamps. This continued for a while, but after Robert took up smoking Newport brand menthol cigarettes, the relationship turned sour and a nasty break up ensued. Fearing for his safety, Sergey was forced to get a restraining order against Robert.
As time went on, the old flame was just a memory, but while Larry and Sergey went on to create the finest search engine known to man, Robert Keating was stuck at Dmoz with hordes of illiterate and corrupt editors. He threatened to go public with photos he took in moments of passion if Sergey and Larry refused use Dmoz for the Google directory. Sergey caved in, and now Dmoz ruins the lives of countless website owners every day.
5. Google has no portal ambitions.
Google doesn't, but after the first quarter their stockholders will be playing Google Reversi and reading sending email from whoever@google.com, the best free email on the Internet.
6. Google toolbar is harmless
The Google toolbar is used to monitor all your online activity, and can hear what's going on in the room as well. So far the Google toolbar has led to the arrest of 2,478 pedophiles, 3 of whom are not Catholic priests.